A few years ago, I was walking down Michigan Avenue in Chicago. I was letting my mind wander and looking in the windows of one of the stores. I saw an outfit that I thought was really cute and then, immediately wondered if I was too old to wear it.

At that moment in time, I made the decision that I was going to remain ageless. I literally thought to myself, “I think I’ll just be ageless” and headed on down the street. Totally freeing. Since then, I have become passionate about bringing a badass attitude to the entire idea of aging.

So, what first pops into your head when you hear that phrase “aging like a badass” and what does it actually mean? What is the visual that comes to mind? Is it the Instagram grandmas? A celebrity? Helen Mirren? Or is it a cool older woman you know? Your own mother or grandmother, perhaps? And how did they get that way?

According to the Urban Dictionary, a badass “stays true to themselves, always.” If applied to the concept of aging, this gives us full freedom to remain who we are as we age. Well, that’s amazing! Thank you, Urban Dictionary. I guarantee the Instagram grandmas are fully staying true to themselves. Thanks to the patriarchy and the life-in-the-fast-lane mentality we are currently living in, there have been a lot of rules placed around how we should age.

Aging like a badass gives us the freedom to break those rules and make new rules of our own about how we want to age. And I am all about breaking those rules.

I look at aging through the lens of East Asian Medicine, compassion, and my study of the Blue Zones®, areas of the world where many people live to be centenarians. When I look at how these people live, aging well, with little to no heart disease, cancer, or dementia, aging seems to be an art that combines common sense and joyful, intentional living. The ancient Taoist scholars were dedicated to the study of longevity and immortality. One of the classic texts of Chinese Medicine, the Huang di Nei Jing, or The Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine, states that the key to a long, healthy life, is to follow the natural ways of the universe and that health and illness are caused by a balance, or imbalance, of the two basic forces of yin and yang. I think of living in a state of ebb and flow, yin and yang. Life is never going to be static (fortunately) and if we can work with where we are in the moment and stay true to who we are, we are in the perfect badass state.

Because we get to make our own rules, here are a few of mine.

RULE #1: I will view others’ choices on how they want to age with compassion and non-judgement.

One of the most important aspects of aging is that we get to age however we want.

If someone wants to let their hair go grey, that’s great. If someone wants to color it multiple colors, awesome. Cut your hair? Grow your hair? Just keep being you. I know a 65-year-old woman who is mostly platinum with a little peacock blue and green peeking out from under her bob. This woman is a total badass for a ton of reasons not the least of which is her cool hair.

If you choose to do battle with the facial signs of aging, go for it. If not, awesome. Personally, I choose to stay blonde (for now) and do some cosmetic facial acupuncture. In a world where we are increasingly turning to natural and holistic solutions for healing, cosmetic facial acupuncture has moved to the forefront as a means to safely treat fine lines, wrinkles, and improve elasticity. Plus it makes me feel better.

RULE #2: I will move daily…or most days.

Movement helps to keep us unstuck.

In East Asian Medicine, we talk a lot about *qi (pronounced “chee”).* If we think of the body as a garden, everything works together to create growth and balance. If there is an obstruction to the natural flow of things along the way, for example, if there’s no rain or too much wind, something goes wrong in the garden. Plants dry up or get knocked over. Our garden’s qi is out of whack.

Movement helps to keep things…moving…or flowing. The three pillars of physical movement are strength, endurance, and flexibility. In the Blue Zones®, they get their movement naturally since they do a lot of walking and gardening and baking. Including natural movement in your day is empowering. I always feel that my outside reflects my inside. Strength, endurance, and flexibility within equals the same without. If you can incorporate all three pillars, you’ll have a jump on being a badass for a lot of years.

RULE #3: I will eat high vibe foods and practice hara hachi bu.

What are high vibe foods and hara-hach- what?

When I was in the Blue Zone® in Costa Rica, I had the best food I have ever had! It was clean and fresh and amazing.

A high vibe diet is based on what the Blue Zones® guru, Dan Buettner, calls a “Plant Slant”. Fill your plate with organic, non-gmo veggies and consider fish or grass-fed poultry and meats (if you eat them) as your side dish. In Okinawa, they practice hara hachi bu, or the 80% rule. They enjoy their food slowly…intentionally… and eat until they are 80% full. I also like to practice food freedom, a concept I first heard about from Melissa Urban of Whole30® fame. Sometimes, you just don’t want to stay on the straight and narrow food path. Totally fine. Just ask yourself if it’s worth it to eat the insert-your-current-food-choice-here. If the answer is “yes”, then go for it. Just come back to center afterwards.

RULE #4: I will find and live my purpose.

Ikigai or plan de vida translates to “why I wake up in the morning”. Knowing the purpose that feeds your joy makes getting out of bed so much easier. I’ve also found that this is not always the same as the mission for your career. People have tried to tell me that my mission in my career is my purpose. That doesn’t resonate for me. Purpose and mission are not the same.

Purpose is the thing that brings you joy and what drives you.

Mission is maybe how you use that joy and drive to inform what you do for a living. Understanding the difference can be very freeing.

RULE #5: I will take time to de-stress.

We live in a busy world and the fact is we sometimes have a lot on our plate. Taking time to acknowledge and deal with our stressors will help to maintain emotional balance and keep our immune systems healthy. Meditation, whether still or moving, can be a great way to keep us in the moment. I know one woman who uses the kettlebell exercise known as The Getup as her moving meditation. Grounding exercises and acupuncture are powerful ways to handle stress.

If you are particularly busy, and just can’t get away for some active stress reduction, you can take 3 deep breaths at various points throughout your day. It will help to activate your vagus nerve and aid in bringing stress levels down.

RULE #6: I will connect with my friends and family daily.

As humans, we are designed for connection.

Studies show that when people exchange energy, empathy and sensitivity between them improve. Also, connecting with people we love just makes life better. And quality of life is as important, if not more, as quantity of life.

We can connect through faith communities, family of origin or choice, and finding the tribe of people who share our values

RULE #7: I will take risks.

There are a ton of memes out there about risk taking. One of my favorites …

Once we say yes to the risk, we have said yes to the universe and the momentum for greatness begins.

Putting yourself in a (healthy) uncomfortable situation encourages growth. Also, welcome failure – this is a rule within a rule. Failure is an opportunity to learn.

RULE #8: I will relax my fears.

Identify your fears and take steps to let them relax. Fear is a part of our ego and our ego exists to protect us. Thank your ego and move forward. Fear helps to inform us as to where we are and what is currently getting in the way.

As Elizabeth Gilbert says, fear can come along for the ride, but it doesn’t get to drive.

RULE #9: I will incorporate self-love, self-care, and grace into my everyday life.

These three rules come together as one umbrella rule.

If we are acting out of self-love, then we will care for ourselves in all aspects. A big part of this is giving ourselves grace.

We live in a society that pushes us to be perfect. What if, instead, we celebrated our imperfections? They are what separate us, after all. Allowing ourselves to be human and giving ourselves grace when we aren’t superhuman is something that goes against what we are encouraged to do by our present society. Treating ourselves with the compassion we have for others, recognizing our worth simply because we exist, eliminating negative self-talk, and caring for our physical bodies, whether with a massage or a day in our PJ’s is all a part of self-love and self-care. And remember to take care of your skin while keeping in mind that laugh lines and freckles are a reflection of the joy and good times you’ve had. Age spots are evidence of really good times.

RULE #10: I will use my voice.

Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State and a true badass, has been quoted as saying, “It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.”

I am right there with her. It took me a long time to find my voice after being repeatedly silenced for many years.

That is no longer the case. I now use my voice in a straightforward manner to speak my truth.

RULE #11: I will choose unabashed joy.

Joy is tricky. And the world is hard. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown talks about foreboding joy, the fear of the other shoe dropping on your joy. And sometimes, we just don’t feel joyful. I like to live my life as if joy is a choice I’ve made. Happiness is fickle. Being joyful is a state of mind and attitude. Joy helps to ground me, not in denial, but in refusing to give away my power. Is every day perfect? Nope. Have I seen a lot of tough times? Yep. Am I giving them power? Nope, not anymore. I have chosen to face them head on, accept them and the responsibility for dealing with them, and to move forward. Aging like a badass is a lot about attitude and state of mind.

RULE #12: I will practice awareness.

Yugen is a Japanese word meaning “an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and powerful for words.” Life can throw us some curve balls and it can be challenging to understand the why’s of those curve balls.

Sometimes, it helps to sit in the gratitude and beauty of the present and to allow the why’s to present themselves at the right time.

Choosing to practice the act of staying in flow to allow those deeper moments to show up might be the ultimate in badassery.

Aging like a badass is exactly like living like a badass, only…older – by living intentionally and staying true to who you are, always. In the Chinese classics, it is mentioned that as a woman ages, her shen (or spirit) is redirected from her uterus to her heart, and then she becomes the sage femme, or wise woman.

Just because you become a sage femme doesn’t mean you have to leave your younger you behind. It just means that now you get to be both.

I highly recommend aging like a badass!

12 Rules for Aging Like a Badass

Goodbye Phoenix

THIS is Sixty